Decision to have surgery
When I was in the first year of middle school, I was taller than the average height, so I didn't worry about my height. But as one year passed and another year passed, my friends who were shorter than me grew taller and taller, and as soon as I entered high school, I became number 2 in height order, and since then, I have always been number 1. I was originally more interested in physical education than studying, and I enjoyed skating and swimming, but I gradually felt physical limitations and had many times when I had to feel frustrated. However, I accepted that there was nothing I could do and lived my life, and as I was nearing the end of my military service, I learned that there was an Ilizarov (limb lengthening) surgery. Despite knowing that it would cost a lot of money, I persuaded my parents and decided to have the surgery.
Going into surgery
When I had my first surgery, I was so scared. It wasn't like other people who had surgery because they were injured, but I was willingly cutting my own bones and putting in steel pins, and I wondered if that wasn't a really stupid thing to do. But with the expectation of being able to grow taller, I was able to overcome everything. When I returned to the hospital room after the first surgery, it didn't hurt that much. It was just a slight discomfort... I even thought it was a waste of the painkiller injection. But after that, when I first put the steel pins in my legs and stood up and trained to walk, it was so painful. It felt like walking on a thorny path. Also, because I couldn't move freely, I had to deal with bowel movements and urination in bed, which was very humiliating. Also, because I spent a lot of time lying down, I often fell during training to get up. The teachers explained that when you lie down, your heart doesn't have to work very hard to deliver blood, so the pumping is weak, and if you suddenly stand up, it's hard to deliver blood throughout your body with normal pumping, so blood isn't delivered well, which causes dizziness and fainting. Fainting doesn't feel very good, but more than that, it could lead to a secondary accident, so I couldn't train unless someone was next to me. I was particularly bad compared to others, so my walking training was delayed, and I was discharged about 2 weeks later than others. But I was able to endure even those things with the belief that I would grow taller.
Side effects and conflicts
Around the time of discharge, I heard a lot about inflammation. I became close to people who had the same surgery and shared a lot of stories with each other, and I heard a lot of stories about people who had re-surgery due to inflammation and the hardships they went through. If inflammation occurs in the area where the bones are being lengthened, the steel pin that is inserted lengthwise in the middle of the bone must be removed, and you have to live with only the steel pins inserted horizontally. In that case, you have to continue living with the steel pins on the outside until the bones are completely formed, which means that returning to social life is delayed. From then on, I entered into a battle with inflammation. I didn't even allow spit to fly on my surgical area, and when I washed, I always wrapped the area with several layers of plastic wrap to prevent anything from splashing. In particular, I was very careful when going to the bathroom several times, and I quickly disinfected whenever I felt like something had gotten on it. As I lived this kind of life, I became more and more edgy, and I vented the accumulated dissatisfaction and stress on my parents. To make matters worse, the bones in my left foot didn't grow well, so I often wondered whether I should close the lengthened space again or not, and while others were lengthening their bones, I repeated the work of shortening them again. Because the bones didn't produce well no matter what I did, the teacher told me to lengthen them first and then transplant artificial bones. It seemed that my bones regenerated late, so I spent more time than others. So I suffered for a longer time, and I always had to spread my legs apart, so my legs seem to be slightly bent. Even now, anyone can see that my legs are bent in an X shape. When I first transplanted the bones, it was somewhat successful. It's been 3 years since the surgery, and the bone formation has progressed to some extent, so it seems like I'll be removing the internal fixation device soon, but even when it was about 2 years after the surgery, bone formation was only progressing at a rate of about 10%.
Words of advice
I think I had several difficult experiences in the process of having surgery. Physical pain is of course present, but the worst is mental pain. For example, what if my bones don't grow every day? What if I can't be completely cured like this? What if I get inflammation? These worries are always repeated. Then you get a lot of stress, and because you are restricted from going out, you get angry at your closest family members. My conflict with my parents was very severe, and I think I fought more than twice a day. There are also restrictions on choosing a job while living a social life, and I have to miss out on drinking parties at company dinners, so sometimes I felt like I was drifting further and further away. Also, I can't exercise with the same members, and the perception that I'm a kid with bad legs is strongly imprinted, so there are many times when I'm self-conscious. There are definitely many things you gain through surgery, but I think there are also many things you give up and lose.
